you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
So you used a whole package of smoked meat last night. Didn't eat it, just took it out and put it all over the fridge.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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