i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
bring money and cleavage
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
