you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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