maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
