just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not really into her personality. Not that we've ever looked for personality in women.
That's only a quality to look for in a second marriage.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
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