just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
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So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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