I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
