my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
