woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
