So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Randomize
