I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
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