where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
I can no longer count the number of girls I've banged on my fingers and toes. It's like being born again.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I just ate a raisin that tasted like wine. Is this real life or is this my body trying to tell me it's Friday and I should be drinking right now?
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just had sex on a roof
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
