I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize
