drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Randomize
