Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I dont have enough money in my bank account to buy a pregnancy test. this wouldnt be the first time ive had to steal one either...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
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