this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
how does that bad decision feel?
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