do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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