My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I was lying there too hungover to move when my dog jumped onto my bed and set half a calzone on my pillow. Best. Dog. Ever.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
