And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I sent my boyfriend to the bar so I could go out tonight and actually get laid..
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
