i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
Randomize