question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
Randomize
