They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
awoke with 47 plastic lawn flamingos in my bed and on surrounding floor. explanation?
you said they were your minions of evil that protected you from ferrets.
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Randomize