So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
i texted "amiibo vore" to my insurance agent instead of someone else. do you think they'll raise my rates out of disgust?
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
