They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
You've changed since you got that strap on
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
