Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Randomize
