U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize