We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
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