please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I couldn't tell you were laughing too hard
Dude I thought I set my hair on fire. I wasn't laughing I was screaming.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
