I can hear the grilled cheese talking to me. "Let me in there!" they wanna get inside me
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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