Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
