Swine flu. Run for my life!
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
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