I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
