i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize