"it" just moved
your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
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For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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