Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
Randomize
