You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
He is sitting on the foor in the soup aisle saying "to each their own soup"
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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