"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Last night drunk me texted a sure to be hungover me my class schedule and locations for today. I'm like a mom preparing her child for the first day of school
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
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