Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
Randomize