i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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