We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
HE COULDN'T FIND IT! WHAT KIND OF QUARTERBACK CAN'T FIND IT?!
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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