a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
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