So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
How many fucks given?
0.12846
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
This toilet bowl is my home.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
