Me. At least after what I've been through.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
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