he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize