It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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