You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
