just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
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