Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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