so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize