listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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