Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
Randomize
