I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
