i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
