took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Omg just woke up. 6am. random apartment. broad daylight. bunch of ppl doin coke around me. Theres a bridge nearby. I think my dentist is down the block. Oof.
you inspire me to be a worse person
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
woke with Taco Bell next to me in bed and people's shoe sizes written on my arm.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize
