There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I think I threw my underwear away at What-A-Burger last night.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
Randomize
